so jealous. so, so jealous.
Remember that time in high school when you snuck into the bathroom and masturbated to your mom’s Victoria’s Secret Catalog? Yeah- Tiger Woods has done that too.
Except replace “bathroom” with “Vegas,” “masturbated” with “boned,” and “Victoria’s Secret Catalog” with “hot ass lingerie model.” Yeah that’s better*. Tiger Woods gets to sleep with lingerie models whenever he wants because he’s Tiger Woods. He earned it, just like you earned that plaque on the wall in the Beat Off Hall Of Fame. Congratulations. Give yourself a hand.
HAAAAAAAHAAAHAAAA. I didn’t even see that one coming.**
*You can leave in “your mom” though. Yeahhhh. Your mom’s a slut.***
**nope. not gonna touch it.
***Okay, I’m sorry. Now I feel bad. I’m sure your mom is a lovely woman.
