December 2009
23 posts
much better →
thanks to Michael for the tip
WatchThis is not the least bit funny. It’s lazy. It’s poorly written. The guy doing the voiceover doesn’t sound like a voiceover guy. The big joke… at least I think it’s the big joke… revolves around a claim that nobody has made (trannies? really?)
TIGER WOODS DESERVES BETTER THAN THIS, PEOPLE! IF YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE FUN OF HIM, BRING YOUR MOTHERFUCKING...
“I don’t see the big deal about it. The president cheated on his wife....”
– -T.J. Houshmandzadeh, Seattle Seahawks wide receiver and most logical human being currently living on planet earth, talking about lions… and Tigers.
pssssssssssssstttttttttttttttttttt
pass it on.
here's how you know Tiger Woods is THE BEST
Who else on the PLANET could make midwestern housewives feel sympathetic towards a SWEDISH BIKINI MODEL?????
mind = BLOWN
and on the 15th day, tiger becomes even more...
Since Tiger went from being boring to awesome 15 days ago, something like a dozen women have come forward to be all “yeah, I did it with the tiger- whattup??” women of all shapes and sizes (but only one color.) From party girls to porn stars, lingerie models to waitresses, and businesswomen to… even more porn stars. Tiger’s done it ALL.
Well- looks like it’s time to...
who should tiger F next?
Kylie Bisutti, Victoria’s Secret Model
Pros: smoking hot, 19, can apparently dislodge her jaw, smoking hot, will give me excuse to post more pictures of her, smoking hot.
Cons: has only been “famous” for two weeks. having sex with Tiger will make her inevitable hookups with Derek Jeter and David Spade less exciting.
Sarah Palin, author, c-word
Pros: she looks like that...
—-BREAKING NEWS—-
LeaveTigerAlone has...
1 tag
“Although I enjoyed our time together, I never was and never will be one of...”
– -pornslut Holly Sampson, making you all feel STUPID for jumping to the conclusion that Tiger cheated on his wife with her. He did not. Nope. He simply nailed a Vivid Girl when he was a single man, just like we did when we were single. Right? Right? Yeahhhhh.
Oh, and quick note to the “other...
2 tags
so jealous. so, so jealous.
Remember that time in high school when you snuck into the bathroom and masturbated to your mom’s Victoria’s Secret Catalog? Yeah- Tiger Woods has done that too.
Except replace “bathroom” with “Vegas,” “masturbated” with “boned,” and “Victoria’s Secret Catalog” with “hot ass lingerie model.” Yeah...
1 tag
tiger woods wears out women like jaimee grubbs....
Jaimee: miss u
Tiger: now that’s hot so who is your new boy toy
Jaimee: no new boy toy … still running dry… been on 2 real dates in the past 2 months
Tiger: I need you
Jaimee: then get your tight ass over here and visit me! I need u
Tiger: I will wear you out soon
(these are real text messages from snarkfood.com that definitely led to epic f'ing)
2 tags
2 tags
“You know you have crazier sex on Ambien - you get into that Ambien haze. We have...”
– -Rachel Uchitel a good time. you can just tell by looking at her.
1 tag
just take a step back
Do you ever stop and think, “I’m lucky that I’m alive right now and watching Tiger Woods play golf?” Because you should. Because you should think that. Because we are lucky. Because he’s the greatest golfer to ever play the game of golf.
Think about that for a minute.
He’s the greatest golfer to EVER play golf. Ever.
And I’m not saying that he’s...
1 tag
“I have to say he was really good.”
– -holly sampson woman who gets paid $$$$$$$$$to have sex with dudes 24/7
1 tag
